I Dumped My Church
Last week, we talked about not reading instructions and labels and how even when
its obvious a person isn’t good for us, we still can allow ourselves to become
entangled with them, even if it’s only for a few weeks.
But what about when it isn’t obvious? We often think of people who are deceptive
as being pretty obvious...I know I have worked with people who right away alarms
went off for me that they weren’t being honest or something wasn’t adding up.
But what about the people who we get involved with and believe? Who only
months later do we find out their true intentions? Sometimes even years later.
Sometimes they have left a mess of our lives and we are left alone to clean it up
while mending our broken hearts and broken egos that we fell for someone’s
But what about on a grander scale? What happens when you’ve been deceived by
someone in your faith? I think of the first guy I wrote about that spawned this
podcast-a fellow Christian man who pretended to have the same values as I did
who only dumped me later and used the values he claimed we shared as an
excuse to end things with me. I think of men who use their Christian faith to get
into the pants of vulnerable Christian women. I hear horror stories of men who find
a church and begin preying on the women who attend there. These women are
encouraged to keep the relationship a secret only to find out months later the
secret wasn’t to keep church people out of their business, but to enable the man
to keep his options open. The less women knew he was in a relationship, the more
available he seemed to be. These sad stories are always accompanied with some
form of manipulation and emotional abuse. It’s saddening and it’s disgusting, but it
happens and it happens more than I realized.
This is a problem I had never witnessed until recently...after I decided to dump the
I was raised in the Catholic Church. I spent most of my life in and out of
Catholicism. Rarely, did I venture to protestant churches. They didn’t have
communion and that made their churches feel less holy to me. In the past several
years since coming to Christ, I sat in Mass alone every Sunday and every Holy Day.
I made acquaintances within the Catholic Church, but unfortunately, I found myself
having less and less in common with my fellow Catholic women. I began reading
my Bible everyday and made it a goal to read it from cover to cover. Belief systems
the Catholic Church taught were not lining up with the word of God. I would ask
questions but it seemed as though the leaders were ill informed. It wasn’t that they
were malicious; it was just they were taught to believe the Catechism of the
Church and not to really question it, but I had so many questions.
I couldn’t find purgatory in the Bible and the verses the Church used to
substantiate this claim seemed very vague to me. It seemed like a stretch.
Nowhere in the Bible was Mary as revered as she is in the Catholic Church.
Nowhere does it state she remained a virgin. There was nowhere in the Scripture
that stated I had to pray to her and she would ask Jesus to forgive my sins on my
Furthermore, nowhere in the New Testament does it say we are supposed to go to
a priest to confess our sins. Once Jesus rose from the grave, the veil was torn. The
need for priests was gone.
Unfortunately, due to humiliation of telling another man my sins, I spent most of
my life not repenting which was not good for my soul. This could potentially be a
big problem with Catholics. So many put off repentance because the Church
teaches it must be done with a priest instead of something between an individual
and God alone.
In 2020, I struggled financially after being furloughed from my job. I took a
$20,000 pay cut cut due to covid. That’s a big hit for a single income household. I
had been a faithful Catholic...tithing every Sunday, showing up to Mass, putting
money in the offerings, I even volunteered to help with Room at the Inn. I took
classes. I listened to lectures. I checked all the boxes and now here I was once
again, at the mercy of my church as I hit hard times. When I went to apply for
financial aid online with the Catholic Church, I was directed to a page that told me
the church’s list of people to help was too long. They weren’t taking any more
charity cases at the time. When I called the woman who ran my church’s local
charity program, I was insulted. She asked what car I drove. She insulted me for
buying such a pricey car. This is only one of many insults heaved my way. She
required proof from me of my bills. She also directed me toward a Baptist Church
for financial help. The Catholic Church-the richest and most powerful entity of the
world turns away its own parishioners for charity and sends them to local Baptist
Churches. The woman I contacted at this Baptist church was confused as to why
the Catholic Church had sent me to them and frankly, I was too.
I visited many Catholic Churches in 2020, hoping one would be able to restore my
faith in it, but as I sat in Mass one Sunday in Nashville, I listened as the priest
explained to us Esau was the illegitimate son of Abraham. He was way off. Esau
was Jacob’s brother who bribed him out of his birthright.
Ishmael was the illegitimate son of Abraham. In fact, Ishmael is responsible for
beginning the Muslim religion. How could a priest not know this? How did I know
more than a Catholic priest when it came to the Bible? This was basic religion 101
in my opinion.
The next day, I picked up my Bible during my morning devotional time and the first
verse I read was Malachi 1:2-3. “I love you, says the Lord; but you say, “How do
you love us?” Was not Esau Jacob’s brother?—oracle of the Lord. I loved Jacob,
but rejected Esau; I made his mountains a waste, his heritage a desert for jackals.
I took that as confirmation it was time for me to move on.
I have been deceived by many men in my lifetime, but no one has deceived me
more than the Roman Catholic Church. There are many good Catholics. Some of
them love Jesus. Some of them don’t know him. Some of them have fallen to the
deception of the church. They pray to saints and ask Mary to intercede for them
because it is what they are taught but it is a false doctrine. This was a very hard
pill for me to swallow, but at the end of the day, we have to go by what the Bible
says and not what man says and the Roman Catholic Church is a man made
religion that is filled with greed, deception, perversion and false doctrine. I am
sorry to say it, but it is true.
So now here I am, a newly Protestant woman and I feel a little culture shocked.
People dating within the church is odd to me. Most Catholics I know are married or
are much older than myself. Pastors are married men instead of men who have
devoted their lives to celibacy. They seem more fleshy to me than priests.
Men slither in and out of the congregation looking for women to prey on whereas
in Catholicism, men are usually accompanied to Mass by their wives and four to
eight children. There’s a popular belief that women only go to church to find men
and that may be true but I see men going to church to find vulnerable women. I
also believe the church I have been attending has a very serious spiritual problem
that attracts the wrong kind of people to it who have ill-willed and even lustful
Of course deception is in the church. It’s in every church. Churches don’t solve
our problems. They would like for us to think that they do and we need them, but
sometimes churches cause a lot of pain and do a lot of damage, hence the term
I was telling my coworker of my recent revelations about churches and how
saddened I have become knowing the level of deception that hides itself in the
nooks and crannies of the walls and hearts of its people. She told me this was why
she didn’t go to church herself. I have other friends who have told me they love
the Lord but they don’t go to church for similar reasons. Now that I have
experienced it myself, I can say I understand the plight of finding the right church.
Every church has its problems. Churches aren’t necessarily as holy as we would
like them to be. If you’re in a church where you don’t know if you should stay or
go, pray on it. Ask for wisdom and discernment because relationships and
churches are very similar, if you have a problem with easily being deceived or if
you make idols of people easily, you’ll do it wherever you go or with whomever you
are with until you heal.
We want to get to a place emotionally to where we can discern our surroundings,
know who we are in Christ and not let the actions of other people take away from
what we have worked so hard for spiritually. I don’t personally want to be a person
who jumps from church to church because of other people and I don’t want to lose
my faith because of other people. Other people don’t write my story. God does.